Drown Your Sorrows
by rubyangellove
Summary: Bianca went to the B&S to drown her sorrows, but she came away with more. A story about Bianca's rape and its aftermath and what will she do when Liam returns and she discovers she's pregnant with her rapists child. Please read and review. Love Rubes xxx
1. Chapter 1

I felt hot. I knew I had had too much to drink. The B&S was crowded: cowboys everywhere. I tried looking for April, but I couldn't see her. I started to feel claustrophobic, so I decided to move away from the marquee. The music was loud and giving me a headache. I don't know how far I walked, into another paddock maybe, but I was away from all the people and noise. It was much more peaceful.

I stood by the fence. My drink had gone. I didn't remember what I had done with it. I felt a bit dizzy: I thought it was because I had had too much to drink. I remember falling onto the ground and I remember someone putting themselves on top of me: they were heavy. I remember screaming once and then I was silent as my body went numb. I remember seeing a picture on his body, but I don't know where, I won't forget what it looks like. I don't remember what happened next.

* * *

><p>When I woke up, at first I didn't know what had happened. I didn't know where I was. I was lying on the ground in the dirt. My hair was muddy. I looked around me and I couldn't see the marquee. I couldn't hear anything. I had no idea what time it was. I sat up. I looked down at my dress. It was ripped.<p>

I threw up.

I felt disgusting.

I knew what had happened.

I screamed and cried. I couldn't believe I had let myself get into that situation. I was always such a careful girl. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to wash and to feel clean again, but I knew that even if I did that I couldn't feel clean. You can never feel clean after being raped.

* * *

><p>I managed to stagger up and I moved in the direction I thought the marquee would be in. Finally some cars came into view. I ran towards them; my torn dress dragging around my legs. I fell against a truck and cried. I retched and cried some more.<p>

That was when Roo and Sid found me.

When I saw Roo, I wished she could wave a magic wand and make everything better: she always seemed to sort things out.

"Help me," I told her, but I knew there was nothing she good.

"It's OK," she said, pulling me into her arms where I continued to cry. I felt safer.

I felt Sid looking down at my dress and I think he must have guessed what had happened

"We need to get her to the house," he said.

Roo nodded and Sid picked me up and carried me a long way to the house, so that we didn't have to go through any happy people, dancing innocently.

Inside the house he put me on the couch. I felt so uncomfortable.

"Bianca, what's happened?" Roo asked, but I couldn't tell her, I didn't know what to say.

Sid took Roo into the hallway and I could hear them talking.

"Roo," said Sid, "I think she's been raped."

I heard the sound of Roo gasping and putting her hand over her mouth. I could imagine the shocked and horrified expression on her face. She blames herself for my assault.

She returned to me, not knowing how to act around me now and praying that what Sid told her was not true, but by the look on my face she knew it was. She knelt down beside me. "Bianca, I'm so sorry."

"It's OK," I said, even though it wasn't.

"We should take you to the hospital," said Sid and I nodded.

"Is there anything I can get you?" Roo wanted to help as much as she could.

"April," I managed to get out through my hoarse voice.

* * *

><p>Roo went back into the crowd to hunt for my sister. She couldn't find her. She found Xavier and said hurriedly, "Xavier, have you seen April?"<p>

"Um she's over there," Xavier made a hand gesture that not only included the marquee, but the rest of the farm.

Roo scowled. "Thank you, most helpful," she resumed her search by herself.

* * *

><p>She eventually found April with Dex, sitting against a tree. Roo arrived panting.<p>

"April, thank goodness I've found you. You have to come with me right now. Bianca needs you."

April jumped up at once. "Where is she? I've been looking for her." She could tell by Roo's face that something was wrong. "What's happened? Is she OK?"

"She's been raped."

April almost fell to the ground, but Dex and Roo caught her. She looked from Roo to Dex. "Go," said Dex and she followed Roo, running back to the house.

* * *

><p>I turned to see April standing in the doorway. She didn't know how to approach me.<p>

"Come here," I said and she ran to me, falling at the couch and threw her arms around me and burst into tears like me. "Hey, don't cry," I told her. "I'll be fine. It's OK."

"It's my fault," she said. "I forced you to come. You should've stayed at home."

I pushed her away from me and looked into her eyes sternly. "April, don't be stupid, this is not your fault. You mustn't think that. I don't blame you. You weren't to know. Do you hear me? None of this is your fault."

She nodded silently and I managed to give a small smile.

* * *

><p>I came to the ball to drown my sorrows, but I came away with more.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

At the hospital, Sid did some tests, took my blood and things like that. I hardly felt any of it. I was so numb. I still hadn't been able to wash. I just sat on the bed in silence and April sat beside me, biting her nails as she always does when she's nervous. I was so scarred.

Charlie came into the room in her police uniform. She must know how I was feeling. I would have been more comfortable if she was talking to me in normal clothes. Her police uniform made everything seem more real.

"Are you ready to talk?" she said.

"No she's not," said April protectively.

"It's fine."

Charlie said they had found drugs in my blood. Ketamine. Dangerous when mixed with alcohol, causes amnesia and numbness. It's also known as a date rape drug.

I accepted this news tonelessly. I kicked myself again for letting myself be taken over like this.

"I want to go home," I said like a child.

* * *

><p>Once home, it must have been early morning now, I silently went up to my bedroom and cried myself to sleep.<p>

I couldn't sleep for long, I was restless. So I stayed awake and tried to read, but I couldn't. At a civilised time I went to have a shower. I was in the water for over two hours, but I still couldn't feel clean.

When I got downstairs April and Irene were already up and eating breakfast.

"You're up?" April sounded surprised.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Sid said he could give you something to help you sleep," Irene suggested trying to be helpful.

"Yeah, I'm too keen on drugs right now actually." That should be obvious.

"Do want me to make you some breakfast?" April offered. It takes me getting raped for my sister to offer to make me breakfast. Why were they being so nice to me? I wished everything was normal and I could have some stupid fight with April over her borrowing my shoes or something, but it wasn't normal, so I couldn't.

I shook my head, teeth gritted so I wouldn't yell at her. I was so close to doing so.

"Do you want watch a movie?"

"I don't want to watch a movie April!" I snapped. "I don't want to do anything. Just stop it."

Irene wouldn't stand for me taking out my frustration out on April. She would have been such a good mum for both of us. "Love, we're just trying to help you."

"I don't need your help. I'm fine." I obviously wasn't, but I couldn't tell them that. They both wished it was April who had got raped because she would have dealt with it better because she is so much stronger than me.

Then something happened which I wasn't ready for.

Liam just arrived out of the blue.

There he stood as large as life and as perfect and gorgeous as he always was.

"Hello y'all," he said, his guitar bag over his shoulders.

"Liam!" April was delighted. She felt as though everything would be better with him there. He could fix anything. She threw herself at him. "I am so happy you're home."

He returned his hug, wishing it was me who had been so pleased to see him. I just stood still, not knowing how to react.

"Hi April, hi Irene," he said and then looked at me. Neither of us knew what to do. With a sob I ran upstairs and hid in my room. I was so sensitive.

* * *

><p>Irene told Liam what had happened to me. Therefore he was even less sure how to act around me when I finally came downstairs.<p>

"Irene told you, didn't she?"

He nodded. "Bianca I am so sorry. I wish I had been here to protect you."

Once more I cried and ran into his open arms. I felt better being in his loving arms again. "I'm going to protect you now." And because it was what I needed to hear, I believed him. I believed that we could move on from this swiftly because we could do anything.


End file.
